confused

I'm super confused, overwhelmed, and it seems like everyone before me had their lives together and knew what they were doing and now they're on track and have already completed everything. And the people who are growing up with me are making tracks and doing everything I need to do. Why am I the only one who doesn't have any idea what to do next or how to do it?

Sike.

I actually do know. But I used to not know, so I made this blog for all my younger siblings coming after me who might want a little bit of help and don't know where to go (hint: Mom is a good place to go, that's how I figured most no wait all of this out) and if you don't necessarily want to hold someone's hand every step of the way, ig use this instead but go to mom first, that's a good idea that I didn't do until I was overwhelmed, swamped, discouraged, and close to a mental breakdown. jk I'm just being dramatic but I was pretty panicked, so don't let yourself get that far - go to ur mum, she'll help you out, that's part of what she's here for and she doesn't mind.

Just remember that the stuff you want to get done and the stuff you're worried about aren't the things she has on her mind, so she's not going to make it top priority or go to the effort to get it done, so you have to be the one who pursues, and makes it happen. You have to make the appointments. You have to dial the number, make the call. You have to make the hours driving. You have to pass the tests.You have to make sure Mom a) knows what you want and b) knows when you want it. And you have to make sure Mom knows when you need help and what you need help with. You have to do the research. You have to enroll. You have to take the responsibility for failure, even if you don't think it's your fault for failing (at whatever it is, maybe not graduating on time, or not being smart enough for a degree, not getting your license on time, being behind your friends, etc). You have to prioritize. You have to make the plans. You have to make the decision. You have to make it happen.

This all comes down to you - whatever happens, happened, or didn't happen, it's on you. This time, you're the one who has to do the work which means you're the one who has to take the blame (that only you are going to give but that's beside the point). If you have a goal, you're the one who has to do the work so you can reach it, and the only person who is to blame if they don't reach that goal is the person who set it but never did the work to make it.

Do the work.

Work your butt off.

Don't ever stop working towards the goal you set. If you put it off, you're going to feel the effects of that stupid desicion and it will come back to bite you.

And if you feel stressed, sit down with Mom and tell her what's worrying you, stressing you out, what your goals are and what you're confused about or what you feel overwhelmed about. The first time I felt like I was getting somewhere was the moment I sat down with Mom and talked about it. I don't know if she came away feeling any better, but I did. I hadn't done much but cry angry tears bc I felt like everyone else had goals they were accomplishing and doing everything I wanted to get done but I wasn't getting them done etc etc etc yada yada yada blah blah blah rant rant rant cry cry cry and by the end of it all Mom started asking me questions - do you know what you want to be, do you know what jobs you want to work over the summer, do you know how to get there, etc etc. Here's what might work, here's what might not. And I came away feeling like I had an idea of what to do next.

So if you don't have an idea of what to do next, I would suggest you go to Mom and talk to her. Maybe don't cry, but you could talk it over and if you think you're going to cry, maybe cry before you talk so that you've gotten some tears out. I tried that, but my eyes ig cry really easily bc just thinking about talking to her and acknowledging I didn't do anything for myself just made me tear up so yay winner right here.

And if you want to talk to her but also want to feel like you've done something for yourself before you go to her, maybe somewhere in there I can help bc ik that feeling - I felt that way for like six months and bc of that, I did nothing and had nothing to show her when I did sit down and talk to her (tho the sit down talk thing happened on accident so it wasn't my fault I wasn't prepared lolol jk it was totally my fault, I had six months and nothing to show for it, I was so dumb).

But if you only get one thing out of this whole freakin post, I hope the one thing you remember or take away from it is: if you don't know what to do, start asking.

It doesn't matter if you ask a sister, a brother, your mom, your dad, your teacher, your mentor, your Google Home Pod Mini, whatever the heck it is you're asking, ASK. When you don't know what to do, always ask. There's always someone out there with the answers and chances are your question is easy enough that there's an answer.