s t e p # 3 : driving (easy mode)

Getting your hours in is really really important, duh. And if you have a job (it's not necessary, but if you do), it's the best time to get your hours in. Drive to work, let the 21+ yo drive it home. They'll drive it back to pick you up and you can drive them home. Then also don't forget that you can drive to and from church. And if Dad and Mom don't change drastically from now till then, you'll be driving there and back twice every Sunday (so there and back x4) and then also driving there for Wednesday night prayer meeting (which is changing this coming June, so ig you'd be driving to the youth meetings instead of prayer meetings, but it's still driving there and back).

Don't think you need to be precise with your hours. You can put them down in hour and half hour increments, no less. So if you run to the store 5 minutes away, you can put that down as half and hour and not feel guilty over it.

You need 60 hrs total - 50 daytime, 10 nighttime. You've probably already been told this, but I'll tell you in case you missed it: work on ur nighttime hrs first. 1) b/c there are only 10 so you can knock those out v quickly. 2) b/c nighttime also counts as daytime so you can driveo nly at night and you will get a license. The first cpl weeks after you've mastered driving back roads you'll have to master freeways/highways/whatever they're called. It will probs be scary at first. I was scared and shaky for I think the first 5 times? Once I got it down I loved it  so dw, Dad will take you to one at night when it's virtually empty and it will be no biggie for anyone but you. After a cpl times alone on a hwy/freeway, you'll graduate to daytime Sunday driving which is way more scary than nighttime until you've done it a few times. Also, you'll need to ask to drive to church, bc ppl won't remember you have a permit and ppl won't remember you can drive and ppl won't remember you can drive on actual roads now.

Another thing to keep in mind: sometimes ppl will ask Dad if you're going to drive. eg, Kit used to ask if I was going to drive. Dad will say no if you haven't verbally made plans. DO NOT let that stop you! I thought for a while it was bc he didn't want me driving/being separate from the fam. Turns out he just didn't want to put me on the spot or force me. So if Dad says no to them (the person asking), do NOT take that as a no to you. You can butt in and say "I'd be willing to drive, if that's ok w/ you (Dad)" bc that's what I said to him and he said, "oh okay, as long as you want to, fine by me" and from then on he always asked if I was going to drive...well ok usually he did. Eventually ppl will get used to you driving to church and you won't have to ask or tell anyone. Just find someone over 21 who will ride with you and you'll be all set!

As for hours, what I did was put down 2 hours for every hour I drove. And then, depending on how stressful the drive was, I might bump it to three. I have had two very stressful drives in my whole permit-driving career, and I put them both down as three and got six hours out of what I would have put down as four but is really only two because it's a little bit less than a half hour there and a little less than a half hour back which is one hour altogether and then do that twice in one day and it's a little bit less and two hours. But you need to get your license and if you're good enough at driving that you can pass the test, it really doesn't matter how many hours you say you've driven. They don't even look at the paper when you take it in to take the road test so as long as you can pass the driving test, you don't have to be specific at all no matter what Jess says (tho by the time you read this, she'll have been moved out for awhile now and won't bother you about being honest with your hours. It's not lying if it's a socially acceptable thing to do, imo).

Depending on how soon you want to get your hours in, be more or less honest with your hours though. I would totally recommend adding a half hour to everything, if not a whole hour. If you drove for half an hour, I would bump it to a whole hour. If it was an hour, I would bump it to two. But it's up to you to decide what you're going to do. Just don't take a 10min drive and bump it to two hours, yk?

The most important thing you need to remember, though, is this:

It may seem like you're bothering Dad by asking him to go driving with you at night, but it's not. He won't remember that you want to get your hours in, so he won't make it happen. Just like I said about Mom, this isn't his priority. This isn't his job, this isn't his goal, this isn't at the front of his mind all the time. If you don't go driving, guess who's unhappy - only you! You're the only one who will be stressed, so you're the only one who can make it happen.

Don't worry about inconveniencing Dad, only worry about hours. If he can't take you driving, he will tell you. There will never be a time in your life where you ask him for something and he can't give it to you but pretends he can. Dad will always tell you if rn is a bad time, so ask him. If it's a fine time, he'll make time. And then you can go out.

But it all falls, again, to you. If you don't go out driving, it's on you. Dad's not going to remember or make it happen, so you have to. Whatever is important to you is your responsibility to get done.

One hard part about asking Dad to drive with me, I found, was that it was hard to interrupt him while he was working. I was always worried that he was caught up in something and didn't have time for me. And I don't know what can convince you to go ask him and interrupt his work, but I do know that it's not interrupting if he commits to taking you out driving when you ask. If he's too busy he'll let you know and that will be end of that, try again tomorrow, good luck.

The first time you drive will, most likely, be a parking lot. If you still live in KY, and in 4607 North Ridge Farms in Crestwood, you'll be in the school parking lot. If it's summer, you won't have to maneuver the school buses. Other than summer, you will, but it's not that hard. You just have to be slow and steady. If you don't live in KY anymore (and I hope that's the case), he might take you to a school parking lot, or he'll take you to a church parking lot. Somewhere where there's lots of space, little to no cars, and no people. He'll be the one to drive you over, but once you're there, he'll put the car in park and you'll switch. Don't bother to close your door, leave it open for him so that you guys can get out and back in as quickly as possible. Once you're both in, you will want to adjust these things. In fact, you might as well learn to adjust them every time since you'll most likely be driving the family's car and not your own.

- seat height

- how far forward you're sitting

- rear view mirror

- left and right mirrors

If you're still using the Ford Focus, the seat button will be on the left side. Just reach down and feel around the edge of the seat and you should find a dial-like thing that you can push forward or backward, up and down to adjust the seating arrangement on the driver's side. When I started driving, I had no idea what the best height for my seat was and didn't drive very well because my seat was too far back and too far down. The best way to measure, for me, was to see where my head was, relative to the window. It should be right around the top half of the window and you should be able to stick your head out without having to duck under the top. The seat should be far enough forward for you to comfortably reach both pedals and the steering wheel without having to strain or lean forward. But it's just something you have to learn on your own so dw about it.

After that, you can change the rearview mirror, and then the side mirrors. The side mirrors have a circular panel thing, with a silver switch in the middle. Push the switch to the left and you can use the arrows on the circle to move the left mirror towards you or out away from you. Same with the right one, just push the switch all the way to the right. Once done, move the switch back to the middle. You want the rearview mirror adjusted so you don't have to move your head to see if someone is behind you, how close they are, etc. For the left and right mirrors, you should be able to see a little bit of your car, but mostly the road behind you. If all you're seeing is your car, you need to move it farther out. The point is to be able to see where the car behind you is, relative to the back of your car and that's not going to do much good if all you can see is the back of your car. For the rear view mirror, you want to be able to glance up at it and see out all of your back window without turning your head. So keep your head straight and adjust the rear view without moving your head, just moving your eyes. It's not rocket science so if the mirror is tweaked a little bit, don't panic, it doesn't have to be spot on.

Another thing you want to keep in mind is shoe choice. Nobody ever tells you this, but sometimes shoes can be a problem. I've had times when I wish I could drive barefoot (I was in motion or else I would have). You don't have to put a ton of thought into shoe choice since it doesn't have a huge effect on the way you drive, but maybe don't wear heels until you have your license or don't wear flip fops until ur confident behind the wheel.

Once those are done, you'll take it out of the emergency brake, then put it from park to drive, and you're off!

At first, driving is pretty scary. Exhilarating, and powerful, but if you're driving a car newer than 2013, it should be a little bit too powerful-feeling. The gas will be very sensitive on the Focus we have (which is a 2014 Focus) and so is the brake. If you tap on the gas, you will go a lot of faster than you want (at least for beginners) and you might freak and tap the brake. If that's the case, then you will stop very suddenly and be amazed at the sensitivity in the pedals. If you do not freak, you will eventually have to come to a stop and realize how sensitive the pedals are and will have to learn to adjust accordingly. It's still hard for me sometimes and I just finished getting my hours on Sunday. But it's not too hard.

If you have any driving experience before (as in, mowing the lawn on a riding mower), it won't be hard at all to grasp how to drive. Just be warned:

For a while in there, I was kind of scared of driving. I never shared (have never shared, up till now) that I was so freaked bc I had told everyone, before I was 16, that I couldn't wait to drive and it felt like they would think less of me for not liking what I was so excited to begin doing. There was something so courageous and bold, so fearless about driving, and I wanted that image being associated with me (not like I'd ever know whether people thought of me that way or not). There was something about it that made me anxious and unwilling. I would dread the nighttime because I would want to get some hours in but I wouldn't want to drive. Those few months were pretty wasted on my trying to gain the nerve and courage to drive. I don't know quite what made me so unwilling to drive, maybe the power I had at my hands made me scared because I know I felt like I had too much power and not enough skill at controlling the power, but I don't know why it made me so panicky at the thought of driving, even driving in a school parking lot that was empty of people or cars. But it made me panic and kind of freak out. Not literally, just that I would be really indecisive, whether or not to ask Dad to go driving and I would sit there and stress bc on one hand I really wanted to get my license by 16 and half but on the other hand I was terrified and I was pretty much stagnant those months. I hated nighttimes, it was just confronting me with how I wasn't getting anything done and how I could be getting something done but it freaked me out too much.

When I finally snapped out of it, it was sometime in late November, early December that I finally stopped being so afraid of driving. The turning point was when, one night, I wanted to go driving. Not to drive (I was still freaked), but to get hours in - any hours. So Dad agreed but when we got out there it was snowing, the kind of snow that melts as soon as it touches the ground. Dad suggested we just swing around the neighborhood and come back, not actually ever leave it. By now he'd had me drive from the school back to our house, which meant a 30-second stretch on the actual freeway that connected the school to our neighborhood and that was pretty nerve-wracking. So I was fine with staying inside our neighborhood, especially with rough weather. I started the car, took off the emergency brake, put it in drive, and started easing my way onto the road (fsr the car was parked on the side of the road instead of in the garage, but it was nice because it meant I could just get in immediately instead of waiting for Dad to back the car out onto the driveway). That drive was the exact point where all my fears just melted away. It was odd bc it was the first time driving in snow and for that time to be the time that I get comfortable behind the wheel is a little bit ironic.

But I've always been glad for that night because I wasn't driving very fast, and it was a neighborhood so it wasn't going to be busy and there were no lanes to stay in and it was very calm and quiet with the snow falling.

I think the thing that really helped me get over my weird fears of driving was that it was almost like being out on a main road - two ish lanes, stop signs, speed limits. All the things a road has, but it was empty and there weren't any specific lines so if I drifted into the other lane it wasn't a problem.

I don't want you to get the wrong impression: I'd never been on a road except for the 30second stretch I took from the school to the neighborhood, so I never had a chance to drift, but I was really bad at pulling out of the parking lot, onto the main road and that was when I tended to get into the other lane. So I'm not all over the road, it's just when I pull out that I was so bad at it. But going around the curves of the neighborhood kind of helped me master staying on my side of the road while still being a chill ride bc it wasn't important and if I accidentally went onto the other side, I wasn't in any danger.

So if you're scared too, for a long time after you start driving, don't worry. You'll grow out of it really quickly and it will be like a switch is flipped - that one drive and you'll be over it, and excited to get back in the driver's seat asap.

But I don't want you to do what I did: DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT let your fear stop you from getting hours! I was so freaked about driving that every time I thought about taking Dad driving that night, my stomach would kind of of hurt and I would breathe a little bit faster and my heartbeat would pick up and I just did not want to do it. I put it off and off and off - which meant that I stalled for about four months until that one time driving that snapped me out of it. But I lost 4-6 months of valuable time where I could have been getting my driving hours.

DO NOT USE EXCUSES TO GET OUT OF DRIVING. EVER. I let any little thing deter me from driving. "Oh, Dad looks busy." "Oh, Dad said he had a ton of work to get done." "Oh we're going to have devotions." "Dad's washing the dishes, I don't want to leave the dishes for Mom to do..."

NO.

1) Dad might look busy, but you don't know if he is or not.
2) Dad said he had a ton of work, and he probably does. But a lot of times he has so much that he likes to take a small break and then get back into the grind. Other times, he doesn't. But you will never know if you never ask. He will say no if he can't, he will say yes if he can. He's an adult. He can make his own decisions about whether he has the time. It's his own fault if he commits to something he doesn't have time for. If you're still worried, say something like, "Hey, if you're free tonight, can we go driving?" and I would say, this is really important:
If you want to go out driving at night and you think he might have a lot of work, ask him earlier on in the day so that he can prepare for either going out with you or telling you he can't.
Every time I asked him earlier in the day, he went out with me at night because he had planned and prepared his day to do that, and he is expecting that to happen, and if he forgets, reminding him will make him go "oh yeah, sorry I can't" or "oh yeah, let's do that" or "I don't have a ton of time so if it's ok if we only go out for 10 minutes" or "tell you what, [name], let's have devotions first and then go out driving". And speaking of devotions...
3) You're only having devotions bc Dad doesn't know that you want to go out driving. You have to tell him for him to know and make plans around that. So ask him if you can go out driving. A lot of times he would either put off devotions for driving, driving for devotions, or not have devotions at all if I wanted to go out driving. Dad wants you to get your license. He does have your back and he wants you to get as many hours as possible. Don't be afraid that you don't have enough time or that you need to wait for devotions. And don't, DO NOT, wait until devos is over before you ask about driving. Devos might go longer than you expected, so it might be too late to go driving afterwards and, more importantly, YOU WILL LOSE YOUR STAMINA if you wait until after devos. You will have so many doubts and second-guess yourself, and wait too long, and then you won't be able to go at all bc time will run out or he'll go back into his room to work.
4) Dad may be washing dishes and yes it may be leaving them for Mom - but if you're worried about that, you can say "hey Dad if you can take me driving tonight, I can finish those up when we come home" or "Dad, can you take me driving tonight? I'll finish the dishes for you when we get home" and then it's like sweet, you're almost paying him to take you out. And if you don't feel like volunteering for kitchen duty, instead think of it this way: there will always be dishes to wash. Every single night. Some of those nights Mom will have to do them, and Mom has done them for so many years. You only have a couple months to a year before you turn 17 or 18 or 19 or whatever age you're turning. You need to drive, and it will be over in a couple months. You can wash the dishes for Mom every night after you get your license, but you have a limited time frame for getting your license - the dishes don't. Forget the dishes for the six months/year that it takes you to get your license. Mom won't remember that one night and you probably won't either...the difference is that it won't affect Mom but it will affect you!  No matter how many nights you push the dishes off onto your mom, she won't remember or necessarily know it was your fault she's doing them (bc you dragged Dad away). And she probably won't care, she's pretty chill that way. But it does matter how many nights you let the excuse deter you from taking Dad out - those nights will stack up and it is a complete time-waster. You can rack up hours faster than it feels and if you slack off and let excuse after excuse keep you from getting those hours, you will run out of time.

Unless you don't mind getting your license at 17, 17 and a half, or 18. If that's the case, you don't need to read any of these since you have pretty much all the time in the world.

But if you want to get your license when you're 16 and a half, YOU NEED THE HOURS. Be inconsiderate for six months and then the rest of the time you can be as nice as possible, but you need the hours and you only have a limited time in which to get them before you feel like a failure or a flake or something. idk, that's just what I felt like. You're not a failure, but you might feel like one.

Also remember that when you're 20, will you remember or necessarily care that you got your license late? No. And no one else cares, either. Lots of people get their license at 18 and it doesn't bother you one bit, does it. In fact, it's not even interesting.

Nobody. Cares. When you got your license. And nobody's going ask, bc nobody cares.

The only time it's useful is when someone else feels bad that they're getting theirs late and then you can use your experience as a boost - hey I got mine way later! or, hey I got mine late too, it's all cool. Lottie and Lizzy Savastio both got theirs when they were around 18 and guess what, nobody except me remembers bc nobody except me cares. And I only care bc I'm getting mine pretty late. I'll (hopefully) still be 16, but it's May 18th and my birthday is June 6th so I have less than a month to go before I'm 17 so I might as well be getting my license when I'm 17.

But guess what, no one is going to ask when you get a license, no one is going to wonder when you'll get your license. It's so not on their radar. They don't notice you driving in, they don't notice you driving out. And if they do see you, they'll see you driving so they'll assume you already have your license - even if Mom is sitting in the passenger seat. The only people who might know abt your situation are your friends and if you don't talk about getting your hours in, for all they'll know, you already have your license. And guess what? Your friends won't care anyway! Wow what a big world full of people who don't care.

If you still feel bad about not getting your license as on time as you would have liked, here's an article I got suggested to me for no reason at all on Pocket that might help put things in perspective - seems like most kids your age are doing the same thing:
https://reason.com/2019/05/14/kids-arent-rushing-to-get-their-drivers-licenses/?utm_source=pocket-newtab